[Netherrealmer]

Before reading this article, I would like you to check this video of a toddler. She is giving her mom advice after her parents have an argument fight. Sometimes, it is the children who need to raise their parents. It can be frustrating if the favorite hobby of your old man and old woman is to have a Debate.



When your parents fight, one thing you need to realize is it is not your fault. They are not fighting because of you. The issue is between the pair and not you. Yes, it can be harmful to the mental health of a child or a teen. Most kids and teens thinks they are the reason why their parents fight. Whether they blame you or not, it is not about you. It is between the two of them.


So you must feel guilty and blame yourself for why they don't get along. As long as it is not violent and physical, let the naggers scream on each other's faces. Only get involved if things got violent by asking for help from neighbors. I know hearing all that drama can be stressful, so you must leave the room where they fight and give them space.

Do not join their death metal duet and rap battle so you will not be stressed out. You are a mature person here and not them. Let them be the babies that they are. If you tried joining their singing session, you don't want to be the shock absorber. It is better to leave the arena and go to your room. Your room is your safe space and territory.

I am sure you have hobbies. Use them as your distraction from the storm. You can block the noise they make by wearing headphones and playing music you like. Do something you enjoy so you won't be involved in the issue between two people.

If you are passionate about art, then do some painting. If you like to shoot the brains off zombies in a video game, go ahead. You can do all your hobbies in the room. Kids from the past have no tv in their bedroom, so all they can do is either read a book or cry on their bed.

We have smartphones now! You can watch videos, listen to music, or play videogames. You can use a headset or earphone, so you won't need to listen to their "romantic concert." You can also use it to communicate with friends and other family members so you can vent out all the frustration those babies you are raising are giving you.

If things calm down, You can tell your parents how much their fighting affects you. It will not stop them from arguing, but it can help with the situation. Most dysfunctional couples stay together because of the kids. If you think divorce is the only solution, tell them you will be okay if they want to break up. You can also suggest marriage counseling if they wanted to stay together.

[cmoneyspinner]

When parent fight, they need to realize it hurts! Not them It hurts the children.

There is no one solution because each child reacts differently.

I used to wake up in the morning to my parents yelling and screaming at each other. I would simply get dressed for school and leave the house. I knew by the time I got back they wouldn't be fighting any more. What usually happened was my dad got tired and just stopped arguing. It would infuriate my mom. But hey! You can't argue with somebody who won't argue back!

I count myself fortunate because in some other homes, it could turn violent! I had neighbors and in their case, it often did turn violent.

All I can say to parents is … do your best to keep your business to yourselves and try to settle your differences without your kids being around. After all, it really isn't any of their business! Your problems might affect them. But they didn't create the problems. Y'all the parents. Y'all got the problems. Y'all need to work it out!

[HENRY@147]

I really had those issues growing up as a child and it really affected me but I came to understand one thing a day I heard my parents quarreled and fought. I picked up courage and spoke to both of them during the fight .. I won't"Daddy and Mummy why did you marry if you knew you couldn't tolerate each other.At that point the fight stopped but it continued while I was away to school and eventually I got a shock of my life that my parents were separated.

[Netherrealmer]

Separating is actually better than staying together while in front of the kids. Being separated but in good terms will be better for the children.

[sweerie_banana]

Let e start off by saying it's very normal for people to disagree when they live together. It is so easy to step non the other person's toe. Loud voices and angry words have a way of making the child feel scared, sad, or upset. Even when parents are giving each other the silent treatment it has a way of affecting and upsetting the children. The only thing a child in such a situation should do is to get far away from the fighting parents as possible. The blows being thrown might befall them.

Children in such a situation should let another adult know of whatever is happening in the house. Talking to relatives, a teacher, or a neighbor can be for the good of all of them. They all need counseling. Remember no family is perfects, it's how we chose to react to such situations that matter.

[Netherrealmer]

Since most people have phones these days, I think parents should try fighting by chatting or texting via phone so no one can hear it.

[sweerie_banana]

@Nevertherealmer, separating isn't a solution. The child also gets affected. They feel they have to choose or the state has already chosen for them which parent to stay with. They go to school and are made fun of or feel inferior cause the other children have both parents.

The children end up having nightmares or bedwetting or have a sense of loss since they may even have to move and start a new life in a new neighborhood. Both parents are very important and they play a vital role in a child's life.

[Netherrealmer]

Separation is the only solution though if the parents will end up killing each other. Separated but civil parents are better than hostile but still together parents.

[cmoneyspinner]

Since most people have phones these days, I think parents should try fighting by chatting or texting via phone so no one can hear it.

Absolutely not. It's a private matter. Written transcripts of phone calls can be produced and then it can become everybody's business. The two people arguing need to settle the matter WITH EACH OTHER like sensible adults! If they need relationship counseling then they should get it. Sometimes an objective 3rd party can help in these situations.

[nela13]

@Nevertherealmer, separating isn't a solution. The child also gets affected. They feel they have to choose or the state has already chosen for them which parent to stay with. They go to school and are made fun of or feel inferior cause the other children have both parents.

The children end up having nightmares or bedwetting or have a sense of loss since they may even have to move and start a new life in a new neighborhood. Both parents are very important and they play a vital role in a child's life.

I used to think that divorce was the solution too but I have a friend who got divorced 5 years ago, her daughter was 8 at that time, now she is 13 and she is facing a big depression, she is being treated and taking meds.

[Carson20t]

In my personal opinion is very unreasonable for parents to have serious misunderstandings in front of children.They have to try to find a right place to resolve their disputes.ThT is way they or one of the couple should not be engaging in substance abuse.

[kennysplash]

Well, parents know that their fighting affects the children, but their feelings then will not let them think of that. It is okay to fight, but if you fight a lot, the children will suffer.

[Mika]

Having a fight with your spouse is perfectly ok. We are humans and humans will always have disagreements. However, fighting before your kids is unacceptable. It will have a traumatic experience for the kid. My parents never fought before the kids. In fact, I did not know they also fought until I was an adult.

[sweerie_banana]

Whatever the age of your child, fighting in front of them has great implementations on their life. The quality of a parent's relationship with the other partner has a great impact on a child.

The child may grow up blaming himself or herself as the cause of the endless fights and may feel like you are fighting the cause of them and regret having them in your life. Some of the negative effects on the child may include nightmares, sleep disturbances and some may even experience anxiety. They always lead to depression and bad performance in school work.

Domestic abuse and violence can have a huge effect on the child. Bad relationships have a funny way of being passed from one generation to the next. The cycle need to be broken and it starts with you as the role model.

[Yugocean]

Parents fighting in front of children will only break children's heart, they love both their parents, but they surely can make something to keep their parents cool, their experience will break them down; if parents cannot live in peace, their children will lose peace. Actually that is duty of parents to share their love together.

[uobill]

I think that all families go through some problems. However, when a couple is spending so much time fighting that it is affecting their ability to parent their children, it's time to separate. Separation does less harm than having a dysfunctional family.

[cmoneyspinner]

I think that all families go through some problems. However, when a couple is spending so much time fighting that it is affecting their ability to parent their children, it's time to separate. Separation does less harm than having a dysfunctional family.

I'm glad you use the word "separation" as opposed to "divorce". Because some couples have been able to reconcile to each other and remember why they fell in love ad got married in the first place.

[Mika]

I am not a parent yet, in fact, I even don't have a kid. I am in a relationship and someday I will get married and have a kid. I have a simple parenting rule (learned from my parents) if you cannot take the responsibility of raising kids, why do you have kids? You may fight as much as you want but do not let the kids hear or see you fight.

[GuestHu]

Do not join their death metal duet and rap battle so you will not be stressed out. You are a mature person here and not them. Let them be the babies that they are. If you tried joining their singing session, you don't want to be the shock absorber. It is better to leave the arena and go to your room. Your room is your safe space and territory.

Yeap. Never interfere with your parent's argument. It might get worse.

You may fight as much as you want but do not let the kids hear or see you fight.

Absolutely. Sometimes, when a kid sees their Father or a partner hurting their spouse physically, they might emulate it.

[Ezzyoj]

It us heartbreaking to see your parents fight. Though, I never see my parents fight. I see what other children that have fighting parents passing through