[kat82]

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In this world, people change. You can walk with someone every day, eat together, laugh together, and trust them like a brother or sister. But then one day, that same person can turn around and do something that leaves your heart in pieces. They lie to you. They say things behind your back. They tell others what you told them in secret.

You feel like crying. You feel like shouting. But inside, you do not want to make a big scene. You just want peace. You want your heart to rest.

When it hurts, feel the pain. Do not pretend.

When someone you trust breaks your heart, you do not need to act strong. Do not say, “It is okay,” when deep inside you are not okay. Let that pain pass through you. You can sit on your mat in the evening and think. You can go to the well slowly, alone, just to calm your heart. Even if you cry a little, it is alright. That is how the heart heals. You are not the first, and you will not be the last. It happens to many people.

Do not rush to go and talk to them when you are still angry

You may feel like walking straight to them and saying everything. But when your chest is hot, your mouth will speak badly. You may say things that cannot come back. So first, cool down. Eat food. Sleep. Talk to your elder sister or your cousin. Let your head clear. After one or two days, you will know what to do.

If you decide to speak to them, do it quietly

If you feel that your heart will not rest until you speak, then go. But do not call people to watch. Do not go to the trading center and shout. Just find a quiet moment. You can talk to them while walking from church. Or call them behind the house. Tell them, “That thing you did, it really pained me.” Say it slowly. Do not insult. Do not raise your voice. Let them talk too. Maybe they will say sorry. Maybe they will deny. Some will pretend. Some will even laugh like nothing happened. But after that talk, you will feel lighter.

After talking, decide what you want

Not everyone who walks with you is meant to stay. Some people come into your life to teach you something, then they go. If the person says sorry and you believe they mean it, you can forgive. But you do not have to trust them the same way again. Forgiving is not forgetting. It is just allowing your heart to rest. If the person does not care or keeps doing the same things, just move back slowly. No noise. No fighting. Just stay away and give yourself peace.

Do not let the pain make you bitter

Even after someone betrays you, do not start hating everyone. Do not close your heart. Just be careful next time. Trust slowly. Watch how someone behaves before you give them your heart. Let people show with their actions, not just their words. Stay close to the ones who check on you. The ones who defend you even when you are not around. Those are the ones who are real.

Final word from my heart

Life will bring people who smile in front of you and bite behind your back. You will not always see it coming. But when it happens, do not lose yourself. Do not fight. Do not beg. Just stand tall and walk slowly.

You are not weak for choosing peace. You are not foolish for trusting. You only did what good hearts do. But next time, go slow. Listen more. Watch more.

And remember, your peace is better than many fake friends. Even if you remain with only one or two people who truly care, that is enough. Let the ones who are not true walk away. You will not die. Your life will move on. And better people will come, slowly, one by one.

[eldavis]

I have had friends who hurt me and pretended like they are on my side. There are some who i was aware of but pretended like i knew notting. This kind of people will teach you a valuable lesson about life, and make you better.

[kat82]

If you pretend they will continue to be like that. May be it is better to tell them silently and see what they say. Sadly many of such people will turn wierd.

[Angie10]

You raise very good points! I'm lucky because I have very good friends, most of whom I grew up with, so there's usually none of that. They may as well be family. I do make new friends sometimes. But if I ever feel betrayed and/or let down, I calm down, get other trusted friends' take on it and then clear the air with whoever annoyed me. If I feel they are insincere, I either freeze them out or relegate them to acquaintance status, depending on how badly they hurt me and how severe the betrayal was. No lie

[millie998]

Sometimes peace is more valuable than “winning” the argument. Thank you for putting it into words

[kat82]

You raise very good points! I'm lucky because I have very good friends, most of whom I grew up with, so there's usually none of that. They may as well be family. I do make new friends sometimes. But if I ever feel betrayed and/or let down, I calm down, get other trusted friends' take on it and then clear the air with whoever annoyed me. If I feel they are insincere, I either freeze them out or relegate them to acquaintance status, depending on how badly they hurt me and how severe the betrayal was. No lie

You are lucky indeed. Most people who come into our lives have their hidden motives. That is why people say that you can only test true friendship in times of problems and sadness. For happier times, even those who have you will show up.

[Angie10]

You raise very good points! I'm lucky because I have very good friends, most of whom I grew up with, so there's usually none of that. They may as well be family. I do make new friends sometimes. But if I ever feel betrayed and/or let down, I calm down, get other trusted friends' take on it and then clear the air with whoever annoyed me. If I feel they are insincere, I either freeze them out or relegate them to acquaintance status, depending on how badly they hurt me and how severe the betrayal was. No lie

You are lucky indeed. Most people who come into our lives have their hidden motives. That is why people say that you can only test true friendship in times of problems and sadness. For happier times, even those who have you will show up.

Yes, I guess I'm lucky because I can smell BS a mile off. Plus I hate disingenuous people, so I avoid them like the plague. I have a few fake people in my own family... I've distanced myself from them as well because they brought me too much drama, which I HATE. Sometimes you have to be brutal to take care of yourself and your sanity.

[bestwriter]

I pick and choose my friends including my family. If I find an iota of deceit that will be the end of that relationship.

[Netherrealmer]

Just cut them off your life. I stopped seeing the so-called friends and relatives I have that are very toxic. I cut ties with them and burned the bridges