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Does Baggage of expectations weigh you down? A personal take on our expectations

Postby ptrikha21 » 11 Aug 2019, 15:56

I recall my experience of my stay in a city a bit far from my native place in early 2000s. One of my friends asked me to accompany him to an eating place - called as Dhabba.(Hindi for a local eating place)

He was expecting very tasty food and good Indian breads. But the food turned out to be average. So he was pretty disappointed with that eating place.
Yet what was my reaction?
It was not of disappointment.
Why?
It was because I was not unaware about that place and I had no special expectations. It was the kind of food that I used to had at other places too.

The reason I shared the above example is to illustrate that often we have too high expectations from ourselves or others or from certain Organizations. Yet in case the outcomes are less than expected or there are no outcomes, we end up feeling dejected, frustrated and even in the extreme cases depressed. Some become so depressed that they need a medical intervention.
Yet why we keep such high expectations? If we keep on carrying the baggage of these expectations, are we doing ourselves good or bad.

Let me throw some more light on this issue with a recent example.
In the recent World Cup Cricket 2019, India was one of the top favorites to win the cup along with England.
India did very well at the round robin league stage, losing only 1 match and winning matches against all other nations.
Yet in the semis, India lost to the Kiwis, who were not expected to proceed to the finals.
Yes, some Indian players played badly. Yet apart from severely being critical to behaving like a fanatic about India's loss, so many people started venting their anger on one man- Wicketkeeper-batsman M.S.Dhoni.
He now does not play as fast as he used to earlier. Many in India kept on blaming him for not doing enough in this and another match. Yet they forgot one thing. The other team too tries to do its best. We should not underestimate their capabilities and think that we will be always the victors.
In this case, too high expectations led people to target just one person who has bought laurels to India over the years with his own feats as well as guiding India to Cricket World Cup, Champions Trophy and T 20 world cup.
Yes, one can ask him to improve or be not selected but targeting him and blaming him solely should not be continued.

Are your expectations leading you to greater success?
Well, keeping some expectations from ourselves and others around us is not always bad and is essential too.
What makes the situation bad is when we expect someone to be always at his or her best.
Or expect ourselves to excel each day.
Or always be a top earner. Or always have a good health.
We need to adjust to the changing situations.

Suppose you want to work on an Online site for two hours each day. Yet you are unable to do so as someone in your family is not well. Or if you get sick.
Or you have to put in longer hours for a few days in your offline job in office.
In such a scenario, we have to adjust and may be just work half an hour a day. Or skip working on the Online sites a few days.
If we keep on feeling bad or vent our anger on ourselves or someone else, would it help us?
Would it by itself bring those extra time for us daily?

The answer is a clear no.

To cut the story short, it is often our the weight or the burden of our expectations that weigh us down.
It is better to put our best, do expect things but not fret when the outcome varies.
This way we can become more focused, feel more positive and achieve more in life.

Perhaps you folks can share a few thoughts of yours on this matter.
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Re: Does Baggage of expectations weigh you down? A personal take on our expectations

Postby ceci » 12 Aug 2019, 10:33

Put your expectation at the right correct direction, and put on the correct person, don't make the wrong expectation with the wrong one.
This is called: management.
We will feel very down if the reality or outcome is varies from our expectation,so do prepare for any kind of outcomes.
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Re: Does Baggage of expectations weigh you down? A personal take on our expectations

Postby fergus1234 » 13 Aug 2019, 21:00

I have a friend who commited suicide for not reaching his parent's expectations. This is why I dont pressure my self.
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Re: Does Baggage of expectations weigh you down? A personal take on our expectations

Postby ptrikha21 » 14 Aug 2019, 02:39

ceci wrote:Put your expectation at the right correct direction, and put on the correct person, don't make the wrong expectation with the wrong one.
This is called: management.
We will feel very down if the reality or outcome is varies from our expectation,so do prepare for any kind of outcomes.


Yes I do concur with your views.

-- 14 Aug 2019, 08:11 --

fergus1234 wrote:I have a friend who commited suicide for not reaching his parent's expectations. This is why I dont pressure my self.


Yes never pressurize someone else or oneself too much. Here in India too, recently a student of a Premier Engineering Institute committed suicide as he did not get a job after graduating, and his suicide note said that he had failed his parents' expectations.
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